Life Update: Beginning of Senior Year
Well I’m back. I know it has been a while.
I decided to take a break from writing blog posts because I needed to make sure I started senior year on the right foot and finished my college applications before adding another thing to my plate. I have now been in school for about two months, and have almost completed all my college applications. I feel like I now have school (decently) under control, and I can get back to something I really enjoy — Abby Unfiltered.
Now for an update on the beginning of my senior year…
I had many mixed emotions going into senior year, but overall I was very excited to see what it had in store for me. I decided to go into my senior year with four main goals/hopes. Honestly I have wanted to achieve these things my entire high school career, but decided that if it was ever going to happen it has to be this year. My goals are:
Find a group of friends — big or small — that truly make he feel happy and loved
Branch out and meet new kids who do not go to my school
Try to suspend my judgement on people until I get to know them personally.
Try and not worry about what people think of me and just be myself,
My idea behind these four goals is that I thought if I am able to accomplish all four things I will be happy and confident in myself. Like any goal I set, I did not expect to compete it over night. I still have not completed them in any sense of the word, but I have accomplished so much more than I could the past two months. I think the reason for this is that every day I am actively trying to take a step further towards the goal, rather than just hoping everything works out in the end. For example, at the beginning of the school year I decided to branch out and hang out with some people who all live in my neighborhood, but who I do not always hang out with. I have always been friendly with them, but we have not always super close. I went out of a whim and invited them all over to my house to have a movie and game night. Little did I know that these people would be the most fun people I have ever hung out with. As of now they are the people I hang out with the most in and outside of school. Over the past two months, two of the boys have become the people I hang out with most frequently. When I am with this group I feel genuinely happy and loved. I feel like they want me to be with them. For me personally it has been a very long time since I have felt this secure in my friends. I am so grateful that I reached out to these new people. At the beginning of the year I would have never thought that in two months I would have found a new group to hang out with, and create all my senior year memories with.
Another goal that has been going well is my second goal of branching out to new schools. I have been trying to do this since freshmen year, but have had very minimal success. For some reason this year is different. I think a big part of it is because of the strong friendships I am forming within my school. Also, I have been studying at Starbucks a lot. Typically the same people are there every day. Because of this we have all began taking, and are now friends. In fact, I even went to Homecoming with one of the boys I met at Starbucks (look out for that post coming soon). I have always liked meeting and talking to new people, but what I think has really helped me make friends outside of my school is that I am going into the conversations with very minimal judgement of them. Just because they might go to a different school that I do not like or have heard bad things about, does not mean they are a bad person.
This brings me right into my third goal of suspending judgment on people. Now this one has been more of a challenge for me. I am finding it easy to do when meeting new people and forming friendships from scratch. When it comes to people who I already have history with, or have known for a long time it is proving to be more difficult. I am not sure why this is, but it is something that I am actively having to focus on.
My forth and final goal of trying not to care about what people think as much has been the hardest goal to accomplish. I still find myself everyday wondering if I look good enough, or if I am saying the correct thing. I think that I am slowly getting better with this, but I know that it will be a very long process that I might not even fully accomplish this year. I just hope that by the end of the year I can be more comfortable with myself and be truly happy with who I am.
Overall senior year is going better than I expected it to be. Of course not everything had been prefect. There has been a fair share of drama, stress and meltdowns because of college applications (Woooo November 1st!), but I am trying my best to be positive and not dwell on the negative.
Senior memories (so far): Painting the water tower, rascal flats concert, FNL (even in the rain), Cheer sleepover, Visiting UT, SM Homecoming, Bruno Mars concert,
Comment below how your school year is going to far!!